A Vow is a Vow, Part Three

Having recovered well from his fall in October, Johnny came home on November 16th. I still had to lift him up when he wanted to stand. His arms wouldn't hold his weight. We even waded into the surf outside our condo. Johnny would do his exercises with an innertube around his waist. He was as determined as always to do his best to reverse or stop the advance of the Lou Gehrig's. John has never been a quitter.

Johnny was weak but very lucid. They say ALS never attacks the brain. On Monday, November 26, 2007, we started off the day normally, wading into the waves in front of our place for our 15 minute splash. One of his nurses, Marlene, paid a visit, and left shortly before noon. Johnny looked to be in great shape considering his disease.

Around noontime, Johnny said he needed to go to the bathroom, so I helped him up. As he reached the bathroom, he complained that he couldn't breathe. I quickly grabbed the oxygen mask and placed it over his mouth and nose, beginning a steady flow of oxygen as he sat down on the commode. It only took eight minutes for the paramedics to arrive. It was then that I was told Johnny was having a heart attack.

Three of his arteries were blocked. Thirty two days in the hospital and just ten days out, and now this. I am proud of how Johnny's spirit has been steady and strong throughout all these trials. Not many people could stand it without cracking up. Johnny was still badly bruised from his fall in October when he leaned forward in his wheelchair to tell our chaplain, "God...is...good!" It took all his energy, but not all his spirit, to say that.

In the ambulance I called my son, Ryan. He immediately made plans to pick his younger sister, Shannon, up and take the next flight out of Tampa. By 9 pm, they were at Holy Cross at my side. What a great pair of kids God has blessed me with! Their support strengthens me during these uncertain times.

Dr. Landaue reported that he'd have to operate on Johnny. My love was in good hands at the new Jim Moran wing at Holy Cross. However, there was a moment of unpleasantness when I called Johnny's brother, and he sounded agitated that I had bothered him. While on my speakerphone, with the doctor waiting for me to give him the go-ahead, my brother-in-law said, "You're his wife now. You make the decisions!"

From that point onward, the response of Johnny's closest relatives has been heart-breaking. Indeed, I made the decision that night, and all of the thousand-and-one decisions since then. It isn't Johnny's fault that he got sick with this dreadful disease; the motto for which it is best known, "a prisoner in your own body", is spot on. Furthermore, Johnny did not die that day in November. He is still alive today; right here next to me. He has been healthier and happier in his own special bed in his own condo, overlooking the beach. For 9 months he has not deteriorated and has gained an extra twelve pounds since his release from the hospital.

As difficult as it is to watch Johnny fight this disease, and the effects of the heart attack, it is even harder to fathom the abandonment that this gentle, loving man has quietly observed. All these months later - September is around the corner - he has never shown an ounce of bitterness. When one of his old friends stops by, no matter how rare that is, his mouth bursts open with that bright Joe DiMaggio smile. Only good will and love registers with Johnny. He loves life itself, and knows the difference between that and merely loving your own life.

To be continued in Part 4 - Christmas, 2007....